Behind the Eyeliner: Interpreting Emo Boys

Introduction

There is a fine line between being moody, lonely or sad and clinical depression.  An emerging subculture of teenage boys walks this line.  These Emo boys are identified by a sullen appearance more often seen in adolescent girls and to many parents and psychiatrists indicates a mood disorder.

However, the psychology of adolescent boys is complicated and much caution should be taken when diagnosing these boys.

Defining “Emo”

There is no authoritative definition for the word Emo; it has not yet made it into Webster’s Dictionary.  The term has been around since the mid-eighties, originally appearing as a new category of music self-imposed by the first bands thus categorized.  Emo music grew out of the Punk movement begun in the early seventies and refers to a more lyrically based type of music: “Emotive Hardcore”.  Emo did not become known as a subculture separate from its musical roots until a decade later.  The “Grunge” subculture died when its most famous son, Kurt Cobain, committed suicide in 1994.  Emo culture emerged post-Punk and post-Grunge as a merger of sorts between the two.

Various anonymous posters on the online database Urban Dictionary.com have defined Emo as “someone who has no real problems, but like to act like they do”; “an idiot that is depressed over nothing”; and “like a Goth, only much less dark and much more Harry Potter”. One gave a more complete definition:

“A group of white, mostly middle-class well-off kids who find imperfections in their life and create a ridiculous, depressing melodrama around each one. They often take anti-depressants, even though the majority don’t need them. They need to wake up and deal with life like everyone else instead of wallowing in their imaginary quagmire of torment.“

While these are all subjective takes on the term, the assumed components of being an Emo kid are relatively universal: aged 11-17; from higher socioeconomic status families; generally considered gifted, talented or advanced in some way; have a high level of egocentrism; prone to self-destructive behaviors and possibly diagnosed with and/or in treatment for depression and/or certain personality disorders.  Boys are more likely to be identified as Emo as girls are stereotypically more emotional than boys; boys who wear their hearts on their sleeve, as it were, are therefore the exception.

The Psychology of Emo Boys

Why should we be interested in what is ultimately another in a long list of teen driven sociological subcultures revolving around music and fashion?  There is a clichéd yet common association between “Emo kids” and psychopathology. Emo kids are often identified by their aura of malaise, which can be diagnosed, or misdiagnosed, as depression.  For many, being on some form of antidepressant and/or anti-anxiety medication is an important component of being labeled Emo.  Adolescence has long been thought to be a time of emotional upheaval, however, and it can be difficult to determine which teens are truly depressed and which are simply dealing with their newfound overwhelming emotions in a more outwardly revealing manner.  It is even more unclear when studying Emo kids, particularly boys. Until relatively recently societal expectations for boys have been very rigid when it comes to emotions: boys are commonly raised to hide rather than show their emotions (as discussed by counselors Dan Klindon and Michael Thompson in their book Raising Cain, 1999).  While there has been some momentum for more emotional men and little boys, there remains a great deal of perceived pressure from society for adolescent boys to be reserved and if anything show their anger not their angst.  However, with the rise of Emo there is subset of boys who are openly emotional and in fact stereotypically feminine in their portrayal of emotions.  While some celebrate this change many condemn these Emo boys.  Far more troubling, too many see their emotiveness as a “cry for help,” one which indicates a psychological condition that should be treated.  Where is the line between typical emotional behavior and psychopathology?  Is the Emo boy’s diagnosis of teen depression, anxiety or other related conditions a result of a society afraid of overtly emotional boys or are these boys truly ill?

The Composite Emo Boy

As there is little direct research into Emo kids and their culture, in order to fully explore the concept of an Emo boy the components must be reviewed independently with an interest in how each relates to the overall theory.  Therefore a composite Emo boy must be created.  While external factors such as SES, gifted status etc are described below the composite is a reflection not of who an Emo boy is but how he is represented, both by society and by his own presentation.  This composite is based on Emo culture and Emo stereotypes and is not meant to be a definitive picture but rather a tool used to further explore the Emo boy psyche.

The Emo boy wears darker colored vintage clothing and shops at Hot Topic.  He keeps his bangs long and wears black eyeliner.  He carries his ipod with him everywhere and his playlists are full of bands like Jimmy Eat World,  AFI,  Brand New, and Dashboard Confessional.  The Emo boy is generally quiet and introspective and could be seen as sullen.  However, he can be very temperamental and frequently lashes out.  He thinks of himself as a loner but is more often seen in groups of kids much like himself.  The Emo boy cares a great deal about what people think of him and how people see him.  He goes to great lengths to appear worldly and aware but he is focused more on his own understanding of the world than the world independent of himself.  The Emo boy feels strongly that his experiences are both unique and vitally important.  He thinks he is more in touch with his emotions and beliefs than other boys his age and wants to be rewarded for this awareness.  He fears his overwhelming emotions are indicative of a mental disorder and he flirts with the idea of self-mutilation.

Breaking Down the Components

Higher Socioeconomic Status

There has been some recent interest in the idea that being of a high SES background can be problematic in wildly different but equally troubling ways to being of a low SES background.  Affluence, while supporting a great deal of opportunities is no longer believed to be synonymous with stability.  Various research has shown that affluent adolescents are in fact more likely to have issues with depression, anxiety and substance abuse starting at about age 11/12 or middle school/seventh grade (Luthar & Becker, 2002; Luthar & D’Avanzo, 1999; Luthar & Latendresse, 2005).  This shift has been blamed on affluent teens’ overscheduled lifestyle, which is seen as a required prerequisite for going to an acceptable university and therefore having an enhanced adult life.  However, further research has displaced that idea, indicating that “far more powerful than the number of hours spent in activities were children’s perceptions of their parents’ attitudes toward achievements,” (Luthar, Shoum & Brown, 2005). High parental expectation places a great deal of pressure on affluent children: do well in school, have well balanced activities, get into the best colleges etc.; however, low parental expectation, or parental disinterest, tends to be even more detrimental to teen boys (Luthar, Shoum & Brown, 2005). Boys are more sensitive to parental criticism than girls, perhaps because girls are awarded more support to show their feelings in regards to these pressures and criticisms; boys are asked to “take it like a man” (Raising Cain, Chapter 7).  Some research indicates that higher SES parents react more strongly to negative behaviors (Chen & Berden, 2006) and other studies have indicated an odd tendency for affluent boys to find “bad students” or troubled teens more admirable than good or untroubled ones (Luthar & Ansary, 2005).  Finally, affluent boys have more availability of monies and resources than their peers, which increases the risk of substance use and/or other reckless behaviors (casual sex, reckless driving, binge spending etc.) all of which can lead to issues with depression and other disorders.  However, higher SES tends to bring with it a better chance for problem behaviors to be recognized and supposedly more opportunity for successful intervention (Luthar, 2003a; Luthar & Latendresse, 2002, 2005; Luthar & Sexton, 2004).  Perhaps the findings of higher occurrences of teen depression, anxiety, substance use and personality disorders in high SES teens is more indicative of the lack of diagnosis for less affluent children than the higher rate of these disorders in more affluent children.

Gifted, Talented, Advanced, Artistic

All adolescents have some difficulty dealing with the stresses of growing up, but these stresses may be compounded when a boy is gifted (Frank & McBee, 2003).  Being considered gifted, talented, advanced is in itself a stressor on most adolescents.  Most adolescents want to both fit in with and stand out in their peer groups and don’t realize the mutual exclusivity of these desires. Contrary to their own beliefs most adolescents want to please their parents who in turn want to see their children succeed (Nounopoulos, Ashby and Gilman, 2006).  Thus it can be inferred that many adolescents want to be considered gifted though they do not want to be singled out as, for example, a nerd.  This conundrum in itself is stressful.  Further stress is placed on gifted children to live up to their gifted status.  Finally, there is some evidence to suggest that being gifted includes a heightened Emotional vulnerability or sensitivity (Frank & Mcbee, 2003).  Some gifted children can weather these compound stresses and others prefer to trade in their gifted status for a more simple adolescence. Emo boys may consider themselves gifted and/or artistic whether they actually are or not and in doing so they can inherit the stress without the coinciding ability to deal with it.

Whether Emo boys are actually gifted or simply claim to be, it is important to understand that they use this classification as a clear indicator that they are different from their peers.  Whether they claim superior intelligence, understanding, emotional depth or artistic ability the Emo boy uses that status to isolate himself. Unlike a gifted child who wishes to fit in with her peers, the Emo boy, whether he’s actually gifted or not, wishes to set himself apart from his peers – ironically, seemingly in order to be able to complain about that very isolation.

Egocentrism

The concept of adolescent egocentrism was established in the late sixties by David Elkind (1967): “[Adolescents] assume that other people are as obsessed with them (i.e., their behavior and appearance) as they are with themselves.” (Bell & Bromnick, 2003).  Elkind envisioned an “imaginary audience” which adolescents continuously play to (Elkind, 1967, 1978); and a “personal fable” defined as the belief they are unlike anyone else and are thus easily misunderstood (Eliknd, 1967, 1978, 1985).  Anyone who has dealings with adolescents can understand the attractiveness of these ideas in terms of explaining adolescent behaviors.  However, there is little empirical evidence of these concepts (Vartanian, 2000) and more recent studies indicate the imaginary audience is less imaginary than a representation of the adolescent’s awareness of the very real pressure to “fit in” with their peers or suffer the consequences (Bell & Bromnick, 2003).

The composite Emo boy appears to have both a personal fable (“I am more aware of myself and the world than my peers, or most adults, and no one can understand how hard that makes my life”) and an imaginary audience (“I want everyone to know just how special I am and how much I am hurting”).  However, the reason Elkind’s ideas have persisted despite lack of evidence is all adolescents seem to have these ideas.

Highly Emotional

In their book Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys child psychologists Dan Kindlon and Michael Thompson make the argument that by the time they reach adolescence most boys are “emotionally illiterate”, that is they are unable to process and properly exhibit their Emotional selves.  Kindlon and Thompson blame “a culture that supports emotional development for girls and discourages it for boys”(Chapter 1).  With little practice in or understanding of emotions boys are at a disadvantage when they encounter the torrent of emotions that accompany adolescence.  Thus they can become emotionally withdrawn or emotionally unstable. Recent medical research indicates boys are going through puberty at age 11 or 12 instead of 15 or 16, a shift that has occurred over the last two hundred years.  However, in that same two hundred years boys’ emotional growth patterns have remained the same.  With boys going thru the biological and physiological changes of adolescence earlier and earlier and yet not emotionally maturing any faster the risks created by emotional illiteracy have become even greater (Chapter 8).  Boys are more likely than girls to commit violent crimes including homicide (less than 6% of juvenile homicides are committed by girls) and suicide (while more girls attempt suicide, boys more often succeed; they are seven times more likely than girls to kill themselves) (Chapters 1 and 8).

Emo boys, however, are not known to be violent or particularly withdrawn.  Emo boys are highly and overtly emotional, not unlike a stereotypical teenage girl.  This freedom of emotional expression however is often met with derision, as seen in the comments listed on UrbanDictionary.com and expressed by critics such as Jessica Hopper of Punkplanet.com who disdains Emo boys and their “torrential anthems of hopeful boy hearts mated to sleeves, pillows soaked in tears, and relational eulogies” (Hopper, 2003).   Michael Thompson speaks of a boy in his care whose sadness and pain was so intense it was difficult even for him to treat him:

“Because people don’t want to see it, they don’t want to deal with sadness in a boy, and this boy was so sad that it broke your heart just to sit across from him.  His pain had such a presence, it made you want to run from the room.”  (Raising Cain; Chapter 8)

These increasingly negative reactions to boys who choose not to follow society’s rules that boys be strong, stoic, reserved and show only “masculine” emotions (anger, aggression, arrogance etc) can only serve to undermine the boys’ delicate grasp of their emotional life.  While some few subgroups embrace Emo music and Emo boys, for example Aaron Anastasi wrote in the Journal of Religion and Health “If expression of emotion, pain and suffering is healing for young boys then those boys and young male adults creating Emo music seem to be providing a positive role model” (Anastasi, 2005), they are in the minority.

Another important dimension to the emotion question is the concept of self-esteem.  There have been thousands of studies done, books written and media reports undertaken in regards to low self-esteem in adolescents with no conclusive results.  There is some evidence that high self-esteem during childhood and adolescence can result in greater benefits in adulthood and that low self-esteem while growing up can result in poorer mental and physical health which in turn results in higher rates of unemployment and criminal activity (Trzesniewski et al, 2006).  However, there remains no true measure of self-esteem independent of other variables.  While Emo boys present themselves as having a classic case of low self-esteem it is possible that their expressive freedom is in fact more healthy than the stereotypical male stoicism.

Psychopathology

It is often difficult to tell the difference between a sad teen and a depressed teen; this difficulty is heightened when the teen revels in his sadness, which is in itself possibly indicative of a greater problem.  Teenage depression is a relatively new concept and strict adherence to the diagnostic criteria of personality disorders prohibits their diagnosis in adolescence. However, along with Depression, Borderline Personality Disorder is the closest allegory to Emo behavior in terms of psychopathology. Diagnostic criteria for these conditions are listed in the appendices.

Depression is an affective or mood disorder that effects approximately 10% of the population and about 7% of teenagers.  It is defined as a “disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies” (Merriam-Webster) and the DSM-IV (1994) requires 5 of 9 various symptoms relating to mood and behavior to be diagnosed.  Depression is thought to have biological and psychological components and is usually treated with a combination of medication and psychotherapy.  Depression is not synonymous with sadness, moodiness or other related adjectives associated with Emo boys.   However the difference is often elusive as depression can manifest itself as withdrawal (Emo boys listening to reflective music alone in their room) or irritability (Emo boys shouting at everyone they know “you just don’t understand”).  Many Emo boys are in fact diagnosed and treated for depression.  In the case of psychotherapy there is likely little harm done, however the use of medication when not necessary can cause more problems than it solves and therefore great care should be taken when prescribing antidepressants to Emo boys, particularly self-proclaimed ones as seen below.

Personality disorders are different from clinical disorders such as Depression and Schizophrenia.  These disorders are more enduring and thus somewhat harder to treat; they are in fact a part of one’s personality and can direct his thought patterns and Emotions.  As adolescence is a time of Emotional development in which many believe one’s personality fluctuates as he grows into his adult persona these disorders are not often diagnosed in teenagers.  There has been some recent research, however, that tentatively supports the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) in teens (Bradley, Conklin & Westen, 2005).   BPD is the most often diagnosed personality disorder and the one that receives the most attention in both research and the public.  Defined as “a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity” (DSM-IV, 1994) BPD has nine official criteria of which five or more must be present in order for the diagnosis to be made.  The nine criteria cover a broad spectrum of traits involving Emotions, behavior, relationship and identity issues.  The difficulty in diagnosis is the fact that many of the criteria are subjective and on paper can be applied to much of the general population.  This point was used for humor in the 1999 film Girl, Interrupted based on the novel of the same name by Susanna Kaysen who was treated for BPD in a hospital from April, 1967 – January, 1969:

Susanna: [reading from a book] “Borderline Personality Disorder. An instability of self-image, relationships and mood… uncertain about goals, impulsive in activities that are self-damaging, such as casual sex.  Social contrariness and a generally pessimistic attitude are often observed.”  [pauses] Well, that’s me.

Lisa: That’s everybody.

The diagnosis of BPD is even more difficult during adolescence as all teens are dealing with unstable relationships and questions of identity, and are prone to reckless behaviors and high emotionality.  Emo boys in particular can almost be defined by the criteria listed for BPD. Recent research (Shedler & Western, 1998; Western & Shedler, 1999a) has broken down the Borderline Personality into two subtypes the second of which, the “histrionic” subtype, is identified by:

“patients who tend to express Emotions in an exaggerated and theatrical manner, to become attached quickly to others, to become involved in intense (and transient) sexual relationships, and to act impulsively without regard for consequences.” (Bradley et al., 2005)

Earlier studies have suggested that rather than a subtype this is another personality disorder, Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), which is more than 50% likely to be present in addition to BPD (Ekleberry, 2000).

In their research study published in 2005, Rebekah Bradley, Carolyn Zittel Conklin and Drew Westen found that of 294 adolescents currently in some form of therapy 55 girls and 26 boys fit the diagnostic criteria for BPD.  Interestingly the female results coincided somewhat with adults diagnosed as borderline but the male results veered from the average diagnosis; boys diagnosed with BPD by way of this study were more aggressive, manipulative and self-important (Bradley et al., 2005).   Emo boys are often seen as manipulative and egocentric and while they are usually not seen as sadistic or bullying their temperamental behaviors can be seen as aggressive.  The highest scores of boys diagnosed in the study were most apparent in four very telling statements:

1. Has an exaggerated sense of self importance; tends to boast or brag.
2. Takes advantage of others; is out for number one; has minimal investment in moral values.
3. Tends to blame others for own failures or shortcomings; tends to believe his problems are caused by external factors.
4. Promises to change but then reverts to previous maladaptive behavior; gets other people to believe ‘this time is really different.’ (Bradley et al., 2005)

All four of these statements can be applied to a stereotypical Emo boy, particularly number three.  Emo boys are quick to blame anyone and anything other than themselves – up to and including a mental disorder whether he has been diagnosed with one or not. Thus the supposition that being an Emo boy is either a symptom or an indicator of having a borderline personality has its merits.  All four of the above statements can also be applied to the histrionic subtype, which is the more externalizing subtype, and/or HPD.

Self-Mutilation

Self-mutilation or cutting is also considered a stereotype of being Emo.  While self-mutilation is generally perceived as a symptom of a certain disorder (most often BPD but it can occur in other personality disorders or mood disorders such as depression or anxiety), it warrants it’s own discussion.  Self-mutilation is “the act of damaging seriously by cutting off, or altering an essential part,” most often cutting, scraping, banging or burning the skin (Cutting, Steven Levenkron, 1998).  Self-mutilation is a disorder of youth most often seen in those under 25 and like in anorexics self-mutilators are often overachievers who feel they need to control something.  Cutting is often related to Emo kids and in fact is a common theme in Emo music.  When a composite cutter is cross-referenced with the Emo boy composite and the defining components of Emo boys there are many similarities.  Self-mutilators are more often from middle to upper class families, are usually associated with being gifted or artistic in some manner, have a strong sense of self-import (“only I can feel this way, only I can fix it”) and are either overtly emotional or withdrawn.  Even in terms of Emo fashion sense – long sleeves, dark colors – self-mutilators, who need to hide their scars, fit the picture. Not all self-mutilators are Emo and not all Emo boys are self-mutilators, however the underlying personality traits are very close.

Risks and Benefits

Risks in Not Diagnosing Emo Boys

Untreated mood and personality disorders can create many greater problems in adult life.  Without treatment depressive episodes can last from three to six years and can therefore encompass a boy’s entire adolescence.  This can therefore color the boys adulthood as his adolescent Emotional development was made under the influence of what can be a severe mood disorder.  The boy may have no understanding of what normal Emotions are and no comprehension of how to deal with them.  He also likely missed out on the opportunity to learn how to interact with his peers and the external world independently of his family. This can be a disaster; depressed boys often grow into depressed men, which can lead to problematic and even violent results (Raising Cain, Chapters 1, 7 and 8). Additionally, some depressed boys never reach adulthood; suicide is the third leading cause of death for adolescent boys (after homicide and accidents, both of which can also be tied to depression or other psychopathological disorders).

In regards to BPD, untreated a borderline’s life may be best described as “a chaotic landscape of job losses, interrupted educational pursuits, broken engagements, hospitalizations” (Dual-Diagnosis in BPD, 2003).  BPD is directly related to identity confusion and without a stable sense of self it is nearly impossible to build a stable life. True borderlines, left to their own devices and without any structure, will float through life from one crisis to the next, perhaps seeking treatment when everything falls apart but never following through with any real change. Their lives can turn into a never-ending and increasingly desperate search for who they really are.  Self-destructive behavior is a diagnosing criterion for BPD, therefore borderlines are more likely than not to engage in risk-taking behaviors such as substance use, casual and promiscuous sex, compulsive spending, gambling, eating disorders, reckless driving and shoplifting as well as self-mutilation and/or suicidal threats.  Unrecognized HPD follows the same pattern of risks as BPD.

As long as Emo boys’ behaviors and actions lie outside of the realm of society’s expectations they are likely to be treated as if they have a diagnosable disorder.  Many Emo boys enjoy the attention such diagnoses afford them and still others wear their diagnosis as a badge of courage and work hard to maintain their “brokenness” rather than work toward changing.   These troubling attitudes, compounded with the risks outlined above make it seem safer to misdiagnose an Emo boy with a psychological disorder than to not diagnose a boy who truly has the disorder and the medical profession does tend to err on the side of misdiagnosis rather than missed diagnosis.  However, there are very real risks in diagnosing adolescents with psychological disorders using adult criteria.

Risks in Diagnosing Emo Boys

The greatest risk in diagnosing Emo boys with depression is likely related to medication but the research into children and adolescents on antidepressants is unfortunately limited by the fact that the newest and most prescribed medications, the selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs, e.g. Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil etc) are too new to have any researched long term effect related results.  However, as previously stated, the first and most important risk when diagnosing an adolescent with a personality disorder is the assumed understanding that adolescence is a time of great developmental change.  The DSM-IV (1994) still states “beginning by early adulthood” in the definition of BPD.  Emo boys being aged 11-17 are clearly far from the stage of early adulthood. Taking each of the criteria for BPD or HPD (listed in the appendices) and applying them to the Emo boy composite would reveal a number of correlations.  However, while these boys may meet the adult criteria of BPD or HPD adolescents are not adults and they should not be treated as if they are. While psychotherapy is unlikely to be detrimental to boys who are not psychopathic the belief that the boy has a disorder can affect his self-image, relationships and ultimately his future.  Telling anyone their personality is not so much a personality as a personality disorder is dangerous even when true but when dealing with adolescents it is yet more problematic.  Erik Erikson pioneered the idea that adolescents are in a state of identity crisis – moving between identity confusion and their eventual identity – and believed that a great deal of this search was based on external exploration (Erikson, ).  In other words, adolescents decide who they are by dissecting how others see them and how others believe they could be. Thus, if an adolescent is diagnosed with a personality disorder, which by definition is a pervasive and enduring disorder, he may fit his personality to the diagnosis.  Emo boys who are permitted to be Emo without being diagnosed and/or treated with a disorder may “grow out of it” as many teenagers do while Emo boys who are diagnosed and treated may “grow into” the disorder or simply “never grow up” (HPD in particular is considered to be a “Peter Pan” disorder).  Boys are more likely than girls to engage in risk-taking behaviors that can include feigning a disorder (Greene et al. 2000).  There is no definitive research either way but as the DSM-IV cautions; great care should be taken in diagnosing adolescents with personality disorders.

Benefits of Being Emo

Adolescence is a time of psychosocial exploration that often results in emotional turmoil.  Boys, much more so than girls, are ill equipped to deal with this turmoil.  Without any external help boys’ emotional lives can stagnate or spiral out of control.  Through music and emotional freedom, Emo culture offers the required help to these boys.  Sharing emotions can be cathartic but adolescent boys fear vulnerability. Emo music, with its lyrical honesty and personal stories, allows these boys to share in an emotional experience without personal risk (Anastasi, 2005). Emo boys take the experience further by embracing not just the music but the emotional freedom it represents.  Emo boys can use emo music to combat their emotional illiteracy.  Emo songs give voice to the adolescent experience and not only teach these boys the language, they grant permission for the boys’ emotions to exist: “Suffering cannot be avoided…It can, however, be made endurable” (Anastasi, 2005).   The Emo boy’s overtly emotional appearance is not necessarily indicative of how great his suffering is but how great his understanding of his suffering is.   Emo boys celebrate their suffering.  Viewed from the outside this behavior can appear indulgent and possibly pathological.  However the opposite experience of most adolescent boys, to internalize and ignore these feelings, can be even more destructive (Raising Cain, Chapters 7&8).

Conclusion

In her book Reviving Ophelia, Mary Pipher discusses the problems experienced by adolescent girls, comparing their lives to the ingénue in Shakespeare’s Hamlet.  This is no argument that these girls need saving, but Hamlet died as well.  Ophelia died at her own hand; Hamlet died because his society didn’t understand him.  The Emo boy’s belief that his suffering is real and incomprehensible may not be imaginary and may not indicate a mood disorder.  He may simply be experiencing the identity crisis of adolescence.  He realizes he is not his parents or his peers and he’s not sure what that means. He may not realize or acknowledge it but when he claims, “no one understands me” he is including himself.  It is only by realizing who he is not that he may become who he is (Erikson).  Thus introspection, moodiness, even questioning “to be or not to be” might be the healthy actions of a normal adolescent.

Emo boys do not act like typical adolescent boys.  They are overtly and indulgently emotional, they are erratic, and they are often sad.  However, being different is not indicative of pathology and acting depressed is not the same as being depressed.  Without a real awareness of the Emo boy subculture it is a mistake to treat these boys as if they have a diagnosable illness.

Citations

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